Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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