hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
