We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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