your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
