im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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