You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize