weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
drinking out of a sandbucket again
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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