brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
