Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
