i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
