I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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