Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize