was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we're making bets on your personal life
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
