Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
