Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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