Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
