How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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