dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
