took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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