sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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