It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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