Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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