But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
