Please, let me fuck your mom
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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