I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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