I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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