I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
