I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
