Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize