i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I supernannyed him into submission
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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