This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
