i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
