spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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