We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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