I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think I sprained my soul last night
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
