I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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