she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
