the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
