Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have surprise drugs for everyone
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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