can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
