You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize