you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so let's talk penis.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
