when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
