i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
