we're chasing vodka with high fives
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
