You work out of a Hotel?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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