the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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