bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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