no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
