I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
