I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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