Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I could fuck to npr.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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