just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
