I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
