I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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