U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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