so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize