I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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