I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
