Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
