You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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