I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
