The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
